Picture: The Incredulity of Saint Thomas by Caravaggio (Public Domain)
A couple of weeks ago, Jason Vana (who designed the logo for this blog) posted a wonderful article about obedience to God. I strongly suggest that you read it, it is very good.
He talks about Noah’s faith, how he believed in the unbelievable and built the ark. How he must have faced people mocking him about it. Then, he entered the ark and waited for rain. He waited for seven days, and Jason writes about how hard that wait would’ve been for him, and I felt the same way. In those seven days, I would’ve thought hundreds of times that maybe I didn’t get the message right.
I wouldn’t have doubted God’s power or His ability to do what He said He would, but I would certainly have questioned myself if I got it right, if I was really doing what God wanted.
I believe we all face doubts like these in our walk with God. And one of the things that I like about the Bible is its honesty in portraying our heroes of faith in their highs and also in their lows. It shows us that our heroes faced doubt, fear, failure, and we can relate to them in those moments and believe that we can also rise to the occasion.
When we talk about doubt, we will eventually remember the apostle Thomas, the one who became known as Doubting Thomas. He got this nickname due to his reaction when he heard from the other disciples that Jesus had resurrected:
So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25)
I think that Thomas wasn’t necessarily doubting Jesus’ power, I think that he was actually afraid of getting his hopes high and then being disappointed. He had already had to face Jesus’ death. What if he believed Jesus was alive and then had to lose Him again if He wasn’t?
But there is one thing we have to grant Thomas: he was honest about his doubt. Instead of going with the flow and repeating what everyone else was saying, he spoke his mind.
Unlike the passionate Peter, Thomas was definitely more a rational person. He wanted to see proof before believing. And let’s keep in mind that these events took place before they received the Holy Spirit, so it was natural, as it was for Peter to show his cowardice in denying Jesus, for Thomas to let his rationalization get the best of him.
But what amazes me in this episode is Jesus’ response to Thomas’ doubts: He showed up again and proved to Thomas that He was indeed alive.
Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:26-29)
Don’t try to test God in proving Himself to you (Luke 4:9-12). But if you have legitimate doubts about what to do next, or about waiting, or about believing in the impossible (like Thomas), be honest to Him about it. Jesus will somehow answer your questions and quiet all your doubts.
For me, when I started asking myself if I had gotten God’s message right, while I was waiting for something to happen, He answered me through Jason’s post I mentioned earlier and reassured me that I did get it right. He assured me that the rain will come. I just have to wait for it…
Question for you: How do you deal with your doubts? Have you ever had God answer them somehow?
I can’t imagine that ANYONE would ever doubt or wonder or question. I certainly have, and God has been so faithful to me. One example that just popped into my head: the day I was moving to Dave’s house with my kids — we were getting married 3 weeks later, but my lease was due and the timing just wasn’t going to work out before school started, etc. [We were not “living together” but just staying together. My kids were watching us carefully to make sure we didn’t break the “Law”. Our pastor and others knew and that kept us in a clear and clean condition. As my son told the pastor the day after we moved, “We moved to Dave’s house, and Mom is sleeping on the couch.”] Anyhow, that Friday evening, Dave was moving my furniture, the boxes were packed, and I was sitting in my bedroom and suddenly panicked wondering if somehow I had missed what the Lord wanted, simply b/c I was so in love. I happened to have a new album by Don Francisco on my phonograph and a song started called “Still Your Soul in Silence”. Here are the lyrics:
In the lives of those that follow there is going to come a time
When rhythm starts to stumble and singsong swallows rhyme
When imaginations crumble, false foundations turn to dust
Towers fall to piles of stones and girders into rust
Til you let the blood of Jesus wash the rubble from your mind
And your eyes again can see the one you almost left behind
When theology’s in tatters and reason is absurd
Still your soul in silence and listen for His word
So many turns, so many ways, so many voices cry
Standing at the crossroads watching time go flashing by
Indecision paralyzes, it’s the fear of choosing wrong
But waiting is a step itself, and your wondering too long
So again you search the scripture, and again you ask your friends
But last of all the One who knows the beginning from the end
In the clamor and confusion and the blindness of your choice
Still your soul in silence, and listen for His voice
Rome is full of ruins, Babylon is gone
The temple’s just a memory that some still dwell upon
But deep within a place that sword and veil had once denied
A tree of life is growing, living waters flow beside
Far beyond all human reason and words upon a page
His glory lightens all who fret their hour upon this stage
To know Him is our freedom, to hear Him is release
To fix your heart and soul on Him is rest and perfect peace
=================
“Indecision paralyzes” to “and listen for His voice” is the main section.
The Lord used this one song to let me know that what we were doing was what He had shown to be done right then. AND it was very true. His family members tried to force him to NOT marry me and become a step-dad, BUT he just kept telling them that we were together, in the same house, and that was it. If we had still lived separately, they could have/would have pushed him harder and, although I don’t think he would have caved, it would have been much more difficult for him.
ANYHOW, that’s just an example of how God can protect doubt; to have feared this moving forward with Dave, I could have been in real trouble in no way we would have imagined at the time. And, it’s been a wonderful, blessed marriage.
Even though this is so much wording, you’ve learned more about me, whether you like it or not. ; )
Jo, thank you so much for sharing this story. I’m so glad that you were listening hard so you wouldn’t miss God’s signs. He does talks to us when we need to hear something from Him.
Jo, thank you so much for sharing this story. I’m so glad that you were listening hard so you wouldn’t miss God’s signs. He does talks to us when we need to hear something from Him.